Tricking others has been a long honored tradition since Ug fooled Grog into eating the berries that make Saber Tooth Tigers look like his wife. Some reason after so many years and even setting a specific day to avoid tiger mauling’s, some people can’t fathom that maybe this fancy new product that allows left handed eaters to properly enjoy a Whopper might be fake. Unfortunately, some departments, like the police and fire fighting ones, can’t take a joke. For good reason, if you just happened to accidentally stab through your hand and the avocado you were trying to pit, you’d want the emergency service to believe your ineptitude no matter what day it is. Do try to contain any major tomfoolery to the magical day that is April Fools, playing a major prank on a non-designated day can be dangerous. Orson Welles learned this the hard way while playing a prank on October 30th in the radio loving days of 1938. Lying on the radio is much easier than lying on television; you could have listeners believe you had a whole horse in the studio just by banging some coconuts together. So when Welles told the masses that aliens were invading, naturally having nothing else to do as this was the radio era, they took it as truth. People panicked, mobs rose, torch and pitchfork sales skyrocketed. Of course there was a disclaimer at the beginning of the program, but it got as much attention as your last license agreement.

  But in today’s scientific and educated world, it takes a little more finesse to fool the masses. Like when Gatorcountry 101.9 announced to the Ft. Myers area that dihydrogen monoxide was coming from their water faucets. And so the scientifically minded and educated residents called the water department, presumably looking up the number for the water department but not the chemical compound. If you look up dihydrogen monoxide, you will find several websites touting the dangers of this chemical, but if you follow the rabbit hole a little deeper, the culprit reveals itself as water. Maybe it’s just radio that can induce mass panic. Surely the addition of video to audio can dispel the sheer terror of someone talking through a box. It does not however, stop stupid. If someone asked you where spaghetti comes from, you might say, the store. That is partially true, barring elderly Italian women, nobody knows the secret of making noodles. So when BBC’s educational program, Panorama, showed the black & white world of 1957 the Swiss spaghetti harvest, featuring Swiss girls plucking noodles from tree branches and laying them out straight to dry. Spaghetti was still new to Britain back then, so some people really didn’t know where spaghetti came from. Many viewers called to learn where they could procure their own spaghetti trees. Don’t judge them harshly, remember, we weren’t completely certain the moon was not made of cheese until 1969.

  Next April Fools, feel free to play a prank, it’s fun. Put salt in the sugar jar, shave something nasty into your friend’s hair while they sleep, fill a dozen cream donuts with mayonnaise, fork your neighbor’s lawn. Just be prepared to explain to the perpetually sourpussed police officers why your skull is bleeding while the paramedics laugh at you.